


Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow

by Midnight_w0nder



Series: Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow [1]
Category: Captive Prince - C. S. Pacat
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Auguste is just pure, Briefly mention the uncle, Chapter four mentions what their uncle did, Damen is a vet, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Laurent lives in France and is fancy, M/M, Minor Character Death, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Slow Burn, auguste and damen are friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:21:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 12,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24321235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Midnight_w0nder/pseuds/Midnight_w0nder
Summary: Damen was happy. He ran a successful business with his friend, he had enough money to live comfortably, he was in a good place. And then he meets Laurent.And his world gets flipped upside down.(Terrible summary, please read it's actually sweet)
Relationships: Auguste & Damen (Captive Prince), Auguste & Laurent (Captive Prince), Damen/Laurent (Captive Prince)
Series: Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1876936
Comments: 40
Kudos: 133





	1. The Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone! So this is my first fic, it was a prompt on tumblr asking what happened if Auguste didn't die? I jazzed it up a bit, because who doesn't love a modern fic? Damen is a vet, as is Auguste and they studied together. I hope you enjoy it!

> _'Tonight the light of love is in your eyes_ ' - Carol King

“And Laurent is coming today,” Auguste said, throwing the ball he had in his hand into the small hoop on the wall. Damen looked up from his notes, watching the ball then looking at his colleague. “Oh?”  
“Mmm. Home from France for a week I believe. He threw a drink at the director and got suspended.” Damen covered his laugh with a cough, trying to keep a straight face and nodding gravely. “How tragic.”  
“You’re not to make flirty eyes at him, Damen. He’s exactly your type, except he’s my younger brother”  
“I would never dream of making flirty eyes with him.”  
“Bullshit, but OK” Auguste sat up, shuffling the papers on the desk and humming thoughtfully. “Any plans for the weekend?”  
“None stick out to mind, why?”  
“See here? Mr. McFaden has been in contact about his broodmares, they’re expecting this weekend and he has one in particular that from memory always had birthing issues”  
“And you’re telling me this…?”  
“So you can be on call. I haven’t seen Laurent since he left, so I would like to spend some time with him. And I don’t want to be called away to help a horse give birth.” Damen sighed, sitting back in his chair and taking the notes off Auguste and flicking through them. Mr McFaden wasn’t a bad client, he tried to take care of everything himself. An old time rancher, as some would call him, but had come to trust Auguste and Damen after he had met them in the show grounds when his mare sliced her leg on the ramp into his lorry and the pair had quickly stitched it up and bandaged it.  
~/~  
Back in 2016, after graduating together, Auguste and Damen had decided to go out to celebrate. And drunkenly agreed to set up their own veterinary practise. Auguste agreed to specialise in large animals and Damen agreed to care for small animals. They had agreed and drank to it, and went to bed completely forgetting about it.  
Except when they woke up and found they had the lease to a building signed in their agreed name, Marlas Medical. That had been four years ago, and frankly Damen would not have changed a thing.  
Yes, they argued.Damen has said more than once he was going to stab Auguste, and Auguste’s reply was simply ‘Hell hath no fury like Laurent’. Which Damen didn’t quite believe. He remembered Auguste’s famous brother, this quiet and shy little boy that was allergic to bees which they discovered when he tried to tame on for a pet.  
Auguste promptly bought him a cat, which they agreed was much safer.  
But Damen hadn’t heard much of the younger D’Vere. There were things Auguste told him at night when they were staying up late for a call, or if Auguste had perhaps had one too many drinks that made Damen’s stomach lurch. He remembered when Auguste had gotten a phone call out of nowhere, he had gone outside to take it. And it was perhaps the longest Auguste had been on the phone, he spoke in French, he spoke slowly and calmly, like how he would soothe a horse who had been hit one too many times, and he back into the office, sat down in front of Damen and cried. He hadn’t said anything, just wept.  
It was later published Auguste’s uncle had been molesting young children, holding ‘special parties’ and other things. There was one name Damen recognised  
Laurent D’Vere. He had testified in court. Auguste had left to go to the trail and had stayed in with his brother for almost a year.  
Damen never asked him about what had happened in that year. He wasn’t angry at him, he didn’t shout. Because when Auguste returned, he looked haunted. He looked like his soul was being stretched and to breathe hurt. That each movement was too heavy.  
They never spoke of what his uncle did to Laurent again.  
~/~  
Damen sighed softly, looking back at Auguste. “Well then, I imagine you’re having a party? Has he ever actually came to visit you hear? Has he met Marianne?”  
“Who are you? The interrogation squad? No. It’ll just be a quiet meal and some drinks, except he doesn’t drink. Yes, he came to visit for a weekend but I suspect he was actually trying to avoid something or someone in France. Yes, he has met Marianne over skype. They frequently bitch about me openly.”  
“I don’t remember him coming to visit”  
“You had went back to Greece. It was when your parents had their anniversary dinner”  
“How convenient.” Auguste simply threw a ball of paper back at him, standing up and grabbing his coat. “I’m going to go check that foal that just came in, can I leave you alone for an hour?”  
“No, I'm going to play with the gas and see how high I can get before passing out,” Damen drawled sarcastically, throwing the paper back at Auguste and hitting him in the head. “You’ve such little faith in your life partner, it’s insulting”  
“Please, for the love of all things Almighty, never say life partner again.”  
“Why? I’m offended you don’t want to be my life partner”  
“I’m leaving now Damen!”  
“I’ll love you, even if you can’t love what we have!” Damen smirked, watching as Auguste walked out holding his middle finger very high and very clearly for Damen to see. Damen grinned, grabbing his dairy and humming softly, taking a read through the week he had. Generally, it was a quiet week in their town. They had moved their practise to New Market, the small town was buzzing with animal life. Horses were everywhere, much to Auguste’s pleasure. He was rarely out of work in that regard, but horse people always seemed to have dogs and cats mulling around the yards as well and so Damen was busy there too. It had taken him time however, to adjust to seeing the horses being ridden across zebra crossings, to be driving along and see six horses galloping past on the grass straight, to be sitting outside the pub having a meal and hearing hooves echoing throughout the town.  
It was a strange place, and yet had grown on Damen. He loved it.  
Damen shifted, making himself more comfortable, humming softly as he grabbed the white board, scoring down what he needed to buy, who was booked in when he heard the bell on the door ding. Damen frowned, not looking up. “Did you forget your keys for the back door, Auguste? I’m not getting you a new set cut.”  
“I don’t believe I had any keys too loose,” a voice answered. He almost didn’t understand from the rich accent, the drawl of boredom, almost enough to cut ice. And the unmistakable French clip. Damen came out from the office, looking up and feeling his heart stutter.  
Laurent D’Vere stood before him, in a silk blouse and black velvet trousers, polished shoes and a pair of sunglasses on.  
Damen did not remember Laurent looking like he had been sculpted by marbel.  
Damen did not remember Laurent looking like the sort of person the poets wrote stories about, for his unearthly beauty. To look as though the angels had created him.  
“I…”  
“Where is my brother? You work with him, no? Or are you the village simpleton that they took sympathy on?”  
“I…” Laurent rolled his eyes, walking into the office, then out to look for his brother. Damen swallowed and sat down, still watching as Laurent strode away. He had gotten a whiff of his perfume, he smelt of sugar and spice. Damen, buried his face in his hands, letting out a long breath. He was fucked.  
This was going to be a very interesting week.


	2. The Barbarian

> "Loving you, isn't the right thing to do" - Fleetwood Mac

Laurent found England boring. The lighting was drab, the accent was meh and the food was like liking a lamp post with a bit of salt on it. He did not see why his brother had moved here and set up a life here. He also didn’t see how his brother had managed to charm his way into a relationship with such a lovely lady, who was so much better than this place that Auguste called home. Rouen however, that was a beautiful place. In fact, anywhere in France was beautiful. And the language was smooth. And the food actually had taste. And yet Auguste was happy, and if Auguste were happy, Laurent could bite his tongue for a little longer, try to be supportive.  
Try was the key word there.

Laurent hummed as he walked through the village or town, whatever this place was that his brother had settled in. He did enjoy how there was horses everywhere. As he walked along the stretch, he caught a glimpse of horses galloping up the straights, their skins shining with sweat and their nostrils flaring, puffing hard for breath. Laurent couldn’t help but stand and watch for a minute, perhaps there was something charming about this place. Horses had been in his family since Laurent could remember, Auguste always had such beautiful horses. He had specialised in dressage when Laurent was a boy, but Laurent wanted more. Laurent loved the thrill of racing cross country, of having to use your head and feel what the horse was going to do, the adrenaline of clearing hedges and metal gates.  
‘There’s nothing thrilling about breaking your neck, Laur’ Auguste would say with his arms crossed. Laurent remembered watching Auguste when he was younger, schooling his horses through Piaffes and pirouettes. How the horses arched themselves into his hand, and how they danced. ‘Like ballet Laur, you see? They dance, just like you’. Laurent remembered being little, sitting on the block in their arena as his brother schooled his string of dressage horses. He remembered Auguste giving him a pony and bringing him out into the countryside and to the beaches, letting them race through the tide.  
Laurent wished he were as happy as he had been then.  
That was before he discovered what a cruel place the world was.  
The world was not cantering down an open beach with your brother, the world was not his mother making him pastries in their kitchen some time after midnight, the world was not his father sitting with him in the study, playing his records of jazz.  
In the world, you did not do well if you were believed in such things as happiness and love.  
Laurent found that out the hard way. That being vulnerable, that letting people in, only lead to deep pain. So deep, some days Laurent thought he physically couldn’t breathe from the pain that had seared itself into his heart. He carried it wherever he went, his pain. He remembered the sun on his skin, the smell of horses and hay, the sound of laughter.  
Dreams were so bitter late at night when he was alone.  
In all his pain, Laurent learned it is safer to be alone. To have yourself, for then you control your hurt. No one can hurt you if you hurt them first.

Laurent checked his phone again, humming softly as he tried to find this Marlas Medical his brother had told him to go to. He said it was on main street. That was all well and good, Laurent thought, if you live here. I, however, do not. He sighed, walking on, and trying to navigate where he was and where he was going. Then at the top of this hill, like an angel, Laurent saw a sign attached to a building that read Marlas Medical. Laurent sighed, throwing his head back and charging up the stupid hill, opening the door and walking in.  
“Did you forget your keys for the back door, Auguste? I’m not getting you a new cut.” Laurent paused, trying to find where the voice had come from and raising an eyebrow. “I don’t believe I had any keys too loose” he answered. Laurent moved in, looking at the source of the question and restraining himself from rolling his eyes.  
Why, in under fuck, was there a barbarian sitting in his brothers office. He looked as though he belonged on the set of some ancient film set about kings and princes falling in love, of warring countries and court scandals.  
He did not look like he belonged in a veterinary clinic. To be honest, Laurent was surprised he even could fit in the building.  
“I…” oh he can’t even speak, Laurent thought. What sort of idiot had his brother employed? Clearly then man must tidy the clinic or something. Laurent doubted he even had a brain cell. “Where is my brother? You work with him, no? Or are you the village simpleton that they took sympathy on?”  
“I…” Laurent rolled his eyes. The simpleton had something about his brother being out the back, so Laurent made his way that direction and hoped he could find his brother.

Auguste was indeed outside. Laurent found his brother bottle feeding a foal. The little creature had a coat the colour of copper, with a bright white patch on his face. There was something adorable about him, his bright eyes and his flickering ears. He looked almost like a teddy. Laurent coughed, clearing his throat which made his brother look up and there it was. That charming smile that made people swoon, that people adored. Laurent honestly thought his smile was a bit lop sided. But then Auguste’s smile dropped. “Laur, what are you wearing? I told you this is the countryside. You’ll ruin your shoes.”  
“This is called fashion. You should look it up. What are you wearing? Baggy jeans? A stripped shirt? You look horrible”  
“How lovely to see you too, ma puce.” Laurent let out a huff at the nickname. Laurent wasn’t little anymore. He was medium. “Who is this?”  
“This is Choca, his mère abounded him.”  
“How sad,” Laurent said gently, reaching over to stroke the foals neck. “Friendly, aren’t you?” he smiled as the foal bobbed his head. His little tail flicking back and forth, almost like a dog.  
“Since when did you hire simpletons?”  
“Who?”  
“The barbarian in your office. He looks feral”  
“Oh… oh Damen!”  
“That is Damen?”  
“Yes.”  
“Auguste he looks as though he belongs as some sort of lion tamer! Or in Greece with a shield and sword in an arena about to fight… fight…” his English failed him. Laurent just let out an annoyed sigh, throwing his hands up and hoping his brother understood. Auguste however, just laughed. “Damen is a good man, ma puce”  
“Did he fuck you?”  
“Such crude language for someone who cannot fully articulate their thoughts in English”  
“He did”  
“He didn’t. He was in a relationship when we met and is still recovering from said relationship. And when he came out of his relationship, I had just started dating Mari” Laurent pouted his lips, crossing his arms and flicking at dirt that wasn’t there. “He is a barbarian”  
“Your English always amazes me. You do not know how to say fighting gladiators, but you know barbarian. What do they teach you in this theatre you work for?”  
“Cu-“ Auguste swiftly covered Laurent’s mouth with his hand. “Do not finish that sentence, merci” Laurent bit his brothers hand, earning a flick on the nose and then Auguste gave a wave. “Damen! Come meet Laurent, he is so eager to meet you” Laurent swiftly muttered what an asshole Auguste was, how he hoped Choca pooped on his shoes and he hoped a bird took a shit on his head and ruined his hair. But to his surprise, Damen laughed at that. Laurent whipped his head round, looking at the barbarian who just smiled. “I speak your language better than you speak mine, sweetheart,” he responded in French, giving Laurent a smile. Laurent felt his heart stutter in his chest. The barbarian was not so barbaric, apparently. Laurent flicked his hair away, looking at Damen and giving a smirk. He heard Auguste let out a whine, throwing his head back and muttering about the flirty eyes.  
This was certainly going to be an interesting week.


	3. The Invitation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't have a schedule for updating this, so here is a new chapter! Please leave comments!

> You're the devil in disguise - Elvis Presley 

Damen watched how Laurent interacted with his brother. While Auguste was soft, Laurent was harsh. All sharp edges and lines, if you stared too long you’d get cut. Yet, he was fascinating to watch. Auguste was asking him to hold a horse while he checked something and Laurent surprisingly did, without much objection. Damen saw it then, how his features softened as he ran his hand along the horse's jaw line and over his face, talking softly to him.  
Damen wanted Laurent to cup his face and talk softly to him.  
“Why do you stare so much?” Laurent asked, making Damen snap out of it and clear his throat. “I’ve never seen clothes like that before.” Laurent muttered something about how he was utterly barbaric, almost feral. Auguste rolled his eyes at his brother, checking the horse's heart beat. “Damen is being perfectly civilised, Laurent. No need to be cruel”  
“I am not being cruel. If I was, I would say his clothes are outdated and he looks like someone made him do a tango in the hedge”  
“I can still speak French, you know,” Damen added in making Laurent frown at him, flicking his hair over his shoulder. “I don’t like him”  
“And I can still hear you”  
“Good, I wanted you too.” Laurent responded then looking at him. “Why are you not holding the horse?”  
“Damen specializes in small animals, you could ride a horse before you could walk. Damen is still learning”  
“How does he work with small animals? Surely he’d crush them, he’s monstrous.”  
“Be nice, Laurent. Being a bitch is not attractive”  
“Who said I want to be attractive?” Damen snorted when he heard that, but covered it with a cough when Laurent gave him a glare of daggers over his shoulder. Laurent ran his fingers through his hair, then looking again at the horse, checking his eyes and lifting his gums. “He is not healthy”  
“I know. That is why he’s here at a veterinary clinic,” Auguste pointed out, grabbing an injection. He pinched some skin at the neck then injected. The horse lurched forward, flattening his ears, but Laurent gave a sharp tug of the rope, stepping out of the way and growling. “Stop, stop” he said both sternly but softly. Damen was utterly in awe of Laurent, of how calm he was with the horse. It would appear, he decided, that the D’Veres were horse people, the animals were almost like an extra limb. Damen wanted to sit and watch Laurent speak to the horse all day, he was completely mesmerised by them.  
“You are staring,” Laurent muttered, making Damen snap out of and rub his face. “Sorry, was in a day dream there”  
“Mmm. Where you” the way he said it, it wasn’t a question. Damen smiled weakly but then saw Auguste glaring daggers into him and he sighed, dropping his head.  
He was doing the flirty eyes.  
He couldn’t help it. Laurent was just so damn beautiful.  
He was so tender to horses, he was so beautifully soft with them but so stern and fierce on the outside. Damen didn’t think it was possible to feel such a strong reaction to someone, but here he was, quite struck by Laurent.  
“Damen, I asked you a question”  
“What?” Auguste sighed, running his fingers through his hair.  
“Do you want to join us for dinner?”  
“I thought it was a family event and I needed to stay in case there’s a call”  
“Bring your phone, Mar will be there as well, so maybe it’ll be nice for you to come along,” Auguste proposed. Damen smiled, nodding very quickly and happily.

~/~

Laurent rolled his eyes so hard it physically hurt. Damn his brother for inviting the Barbarian along to the dinner. Laurent didn’t even want to go out for dinner. Why would he? English food so disgusting, there was no flavour. He tongue was crying at the thought of it.  
“Do be nice, brother” Auguste chimed, taking the rope and leading the horse into the stable and pulling a rug on. “Damen isn’t actually that bad”  
“Why did you invite him to dinner?”  
“How many friends do you have?”  
“I hardly see that relevance”  
“How many?”  
“Six”  
“I mean real friends. Not fictional, animals, or dead philosophers”  
“... one”  
“Laurent…”  
“Don’t take that tone with me”  
“What? Concern? You know what your therapist said-”  
“Do not bring Maurice into this.” Auguste sighed, rubbing his face and looking at him. Laurent wanted to stab his eyes out (lovingly of course). He knew he was very much on the edge of social circles. People enjoyed inviting him to parties purely to look at him, if they needed entertainment or wanted drama because apparently Laurent ticked all three of those boxes. Laurent shifted from foot to foot, he did not want this conversation with his brother. He was happy in his isolation. No one could hurt him in isolation.  
“Damen is a good person, a kind person”  
“He wants to fuck me”  
“And I told him no”  
“And that’s all it takes? You should’ve said no to our uncle then” Laurent knew he had over stepped when he said that. The look of betrayal on Auguste’s face. Of all people, he could not bear to hurt his brother. Laurent swallowed, taking a deep breath. “That was unfair of me to say,” he said quietly.  
“Damen does not know about uncle. I know you view yourself as used goods. You are not. You are deserving of love. You are deserving of kindness.” Auguste said, with such kindness that Laurent wanted to throw up. He closed his eyes, “You’re trying to play God”  
“I’m trying to help you”  
“And even God can’t do that,” Laurent replied, stepping out of the stable and looking at Damen. The barbarian sat on the steps, watching something on his phone and laughing. Laurent hated that his heart stuttered ever so slightly at his smile. He looked so engaged in whatever he was watching, then glanced up and quickly put his phone away when he saw Laurent. “Hello”  
“What were you laughing at?”  
“Nothing”  
“You seemed very invested in it”  
“It was… It was this little bulldog. And he kept barking at his mum, because she wouldn’t bring him on a walk, and they put subtitles on it” he murmured, smiling. Laurent looked at him, raising an eyebrow. “You found it funny?”  
“Yes. He was upset about not going to the park, the subtitles made it funnier” sometimes, people mystified Laurent. He worked as a lead choreographer for a theatre company. He had studied in Paris, toured the world dancing, and people constantly confused him.  
Like now.  
What was so entertaining about a dog barking with subtitles? Laurent sighed, examining his nails. “You’re coming to dinner”  
“Oh?”  
“Yes.”  
“Ok… Cool?”  
“You sound delighted,” Laurent observed making Damen shrug. “I thought it was a private thing, so I was actually going to go home and get caught up on Tiger King”  
“And now Auguste interrupted your plans”  
“Yes, he always does” though he wouldn’t say it, Laurent agreed. Auguste always messed with things he didn’t need to mess with.  
Like his personal life.  
“Auguste believes I need a friend and wants me to befriend you”  
“Thank you for informing me”  
“I will not befriend you”  
“Naturally”  
“I do not want a friend”  
“Of course”  
“I do not like you”  
“You’re hardly the first” Laurent raised an eyebrow when Damen said that, perhaps things were going to be interesting now.


	4. The Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Dinner happens and well, it goes as well as one can predict.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *whispers* I'm alive.

> 'Do you have to let linger' - The Cranberries. 

Dinner was arranged at a small rustic Italian restaurant next to Auguste's flat. 

Laurent _hated_ Italian. He hated pizza, he hated pasta, he hated the chirpy music and how loud the language was. But Marianne loved Italian, and so they went. But Laurent made sure to state his opinion known. "And the _smells,_ " Laurent protested, throwing his head back. Marianne just smiled, laughing in her unique way and throwing her head back. Her arm was linked through Auguste's, and she tutted, bopping Laurent's nose. 

"You are funny, Laurent. I wish you stayed more," her accent ringing out. She had a strong Scottish accent, her head a mess of red curls. She danced along beside Auguste who kissed her temple. 

"He is busy, being a famous choreographer in Paris," Auguste chimed softly, opening the door for Marianne but Laurent walked in first making Marianne laugh even harder. Her laugh was loud, like it consumed her whole being and when she laughed, Auguste always smiled. He looked at her like she was the most beautiful thing in the world.

Laurent wondered what it was like to love someone that much. 

When they emerged into the restaurant, Damen gave a wave from the booth he had gotten for them. And Laurent had to admit, he looked well. He was changed from his work clothes into a deep red shirt and black jeans, his hair fresh from the shower and then Laurent got a whiff of him and he smelt of jasmine and sea salt. He smelt fresh and looked almost glowing, the lighting of the room gave his skin this soft bloom. 

Laurent pinched himself. He felt childish, like a stupid schoolboy with a crush. He couldn't be like this, he couldn't let himself fall _in love_. Nothing was more repellant. 

"I didn't think you would arrive," Damen said in French softly. Laurent arched an eyebrow at him, tilting his head. 

"I wasn't going too. But Marianne told me she'd bring me out to see her horses as a reward for being civilised," he responded making Damen snort, shaking his head. "You're so cheeky, aren't you?"

"I'm not cheeky, I'm honest. But society decided that when you are honest, you are cheeky" he said with a shrug making Damen smile at him. Laurent decided he hated Damen's smile, because it was true. And it was honest. And it made his eyes shimmer. 

Laurent hated this. 

~/~

Damen loved this. He loved seeing this side of Laurent. He could tell it was a performance. That under it all, Laurent was scared. Damen could see it, the way if a waiter made too much noise Laurent's eyes would find the source almost immediately, and Auguste would reach out to brush a hand along Lauren't arm to reassure me and then Marianne would change the subject loudly. 

Damen couldn't read Laurent, his words were like a whip but his eyes always gave something else away. 

"Wine, I think. Would you like some wine, Laurent?"

"My brother doesn't drink," Auguste said, his hand lazily playing with Marianne's hair who was leaned against him. 

"I can speak for myself, Auguste. Perhaps today I would like some wine" Laurent announced making Auguste step out of his lovers haze and look at his brother seriously now. "Laurent, I do not think that is wise" he said softly in French but Laurent shrugged. 

"I am an adult, no? I can do as I please" 

"Gus, it's ok. One glass won't hurt him," Marianne said gently, squeezing his hand. Auguste hummed. Damen had learned to read him, to understand the way his hand flexed when he didn't like something or the way his eyebrow would twitch when he felt passionate about something. Damen knew that Auguste was protective of his little brother, but as Laurent said he was an adult. So Damen poured him the wine and Laurent sipped it. 

And then he downed it. 

"Another," he said with a nod. Auguste shifted, saying something to Laurent quietly but Laurent barely acknowledged him, his steel gaze fixed on Damen, daring him not to pour him another drink. And so, Damen did. He only poured half though, and then Laurent downed it again. 

Auguste left the table when he did that, Marianne looked at Laurent and hurried out after him. Laurent didn't even spare him a gaze, he just sat back and looked at Damen. 

"Another"

"I think not" 

"Why?"

"Because clearly there is something about you drinking wine that your brother does not like," Damen said gently in French. Laurent rolled his eyes, pulling out a pouch of tobacco to roll a cigarette. "My uncle gave me wine, Auguste does not like my uncle"

"Do you like your uncle?"

"I do not. But I do like wine" he said, taking the bottle but Damen could see how white his knuckles had turned from gripping them and so hesitantly, Damen placed his hand on top of Laurent's who completely stilled. 

"You do not have to lie here, Laurent. I will not judge you" he spoke kindly but Laurent yanked his hand away as if he had been scorned or burned. He poured a glass and downed it then resumed rolling his cigarette. "He does not like to see this"

"Auguste does not like to see something he cannot fix," Damen agreed. That made Laurent look at him, truly _look_ at him. The way only a D'Vere could. 

"You see that in him?"

"I have known him many years, I have seen the way he looks at a horse with a broken leg or a dog with cancer, he looks at you the same way but... sadder."

"So I am a dog with cancer?"

"I think you are something that was hurt, and when Auguste couldn't fix it, he lost faith there was a cure"

"Hmm. How observant of you," Laurent murmured. He turned to look out the window where Marianne and Auguste were locked in each others arms. Marianne matched him in height, their hairs clashing in colour. "Do you like her?"

"I do. I think she grounds him"

"She proposed to him," Laurent said. "She proposed but Auguste declined because I had been hospitalised." Laurent spoke with no emotion, yet his eyes weeped. There were no tears, but Damen could see how his pain carried in his eyes. 

"He worries about you before everyone else," Damen agreed but Laurent shook his head. "He shouldn't. He can't marry, that's incest" and with that, Damen couldn't help but laugh. Laurent looked at him, his mouth a straight harsh line and yet it broke into a smile. It was small, but it was there. 

"I am funny?"

"You are quick witted, not many people understand that" 

"And you do?"

"Sometimes," Damen said, then tilting his head as Laurent's skin seemed to change in shade. "Laurent?"

"I have not drank wine, in sometime" he explained quietly. Damen quickly passed him a glass of water, "Sip, don't down. Try and eat some of your pasta," he said calmly but Laurent rose, staggering right into his brother. "Laurent?" and with that, Laurent promptly vomitted all over his brothers shoes. 

~/~

Sitting in his apartment, with Laurent's head on his lap is not how Auguste expected to spend his evening. With the help of Damen, they had managed to get him back and on the sofa while Marianne sorted out the bills in the resturant. Damen had offered to stay, but Auguste told him to go. And so he did, no questions asked. 

Auguste sighed, softly threading his fingers through Laurent's hair as his younger brother sniffed, the basin on the table for him to vomit into. 

"I ruined your night," he whispered and Auguste shook his head. "No, Lau. No you didn't. I wish you hadn't done this, you know not to mix your medication and alcohol" 

"I just wanted to seem grown up," he said quietly. Auguste leaned down, pressing a kiss to Laurent's temple gently. "You are, ma puce. You are, Damen will not judge you"

"I do not care about the barbarian." Auguste knew it was a lie, he had seen how Laurent had watched Damen tonight and vice versa. He knew it was not that simple. 

"It's OK, if you fancy him. It's OK" and then Auguste felt Laurent sob, he didn't react. He resumed stroking his head, softly. "It's OK, my dove. Let it out"

"Everything I touch, he's there. Every time someone looks at me, he's there" Laurent slurred, rolling into a comfortable positon. Auguste could hear the sleep in his voice, he wanted to ask him though. He wanted to discuss what their uncle had done, but he knew now was not the time.

"Sleep, Laurent"

"He comes to me in my sleep, and it starts" he breathed, and then he was silent. Auguste felt his heart constrict so tightly in his chest. If this was the pain he felt hearing of his abuse, what was the pain Laurent had felt when it happened? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I disappeared, I just needed a break from some stuff and I couldn't bring myself to write but then today I just got his with some inspiration so here we are :)   
> I'm sorry if Laurent is kinda OOC towards the end? But I was listening to Linger by the Cranberries as I wrote this, and just the agnst followed.  
> Enjoy!


	5. Mayfly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mayfly: A form of insect known for its extremely short life span.   
> Laurent tries to hide his heart, but when he tries his hardest to hide than is when it is shown the most.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Major whump, mentions of past abuse, and death, and childhood trauma. Just everything really. I am sorry, but yay two chapters in one day?

> "Time to leave this town  
> Now your dreams have all let you down  
> No one here will miss you now  
> Time to wakeup and look around" - Keane

The morning had barely broken when Auguste woke Laurent with his phone ringing. Laurent opened one eye, groaning loudly at the sound of the ringtone and sitting upright to look at his brother. Laurent knew that look anywhere, his eyebrows were knitted together and he was concerned. Laurent got up slowly, sitting more upright. Auguste hung up, looking at Laurent. "How hung over are you?"

"I'm alright, why?"

"I... I could use your help"

"With?"

"I've had a rescue call. I lead the local rescue charity for the horses, and I just got an urgent call for an abuse case" 

"I do not have the right clothes"

"Borrow mine. Please, Laurent. You're always better at predicting them than I, and calming them down" Laurent closed his eyes, nodding slowly. "Alright"

~/~

Damen had expected the day to be quiet, however when he finally arrived at the clinic he heard yelling outside. He grabbed his bag and charged out, then stopping when he saw the sight. Laurent was holding a rope as a horse reared, the horses legs kicking out but Laurent dodged with such grace that only someone could who had spent their life with horses. Auguste was stood with a needle, shouting at Laurent in French who was shouting back. The horse reared again but Laurent grabbed the head collar and held firm, pressing the his head to the horses and talking deeply. The horse stopped, and then Damen could finally see this horse was not well. 

The horses leg were at a concerning angle, his rib cage showing, his coat in tats and past scars that never healed seeped and flies danced around his eyes. 

Yet Laurent pressed his head to the horses, and stroked his cheek, and talked to him. 

Auguste stepped away, rubbing his face and then looking at Damen and gave a small shake of his head. He walked up, standing next to him.

"He won't survive the next few hours. His organs have shut down, he's blind, he's dehydrated," Auguste explained. "His kidneys don't work, the stable smelt of piss but it was clear he hadn't been able to go in days, he's riddled with worms but..."

"But Laurent won't let you put him to sleep," Damen finished, still watching how the younger D'Vere stood with the horse who was now using Laurent as a resting pole, barely able to keep himself standing. "Does he understand?"

"Not fully. Laurent, I forget he is younger. I forget he has not studied to be a vet. He still believes there is life in Mayfly"

"Mayfly?""Laurent named him" he explained, blowing out a breath and scrubbing his face. "I hate this world sometimes. I hate how cruel it is" 

"He has to know you can't save him, Auguste"

"He does. I'm going to give him some time though before I do" he said, giving a final nod and walking inside. 

~/~

The day had been quiet, the sense of dread hanging between Damen and Auguste was heavy. It was lingering between them. Auguste had stated that he would not give Mayfly the tranquilliser to sleep until Mayfly lay down and couldn't get up. 

Laurent tied him to the wall, and groomed the horse, tended to the scabs and cleaned his eyes. And when Damen went out to give Laurent some lunch he could see some sort of happiness in the old horses eyes, and that feeling of being loved. Laurent tended to him so well that Damen could almost convince himself that the horse would survive. 

Then Laurent brought Mayfly into the fresh stable and Mayfly lay down.

Damen heard Laurent's scream and dropped everything. He ran out and saw Mayfly sprawled out, his head on Laurent's lap. There was no tears however, but Damen could see he wanted to cry. Auguste soon followed, Laurent looked at his brother and Damen could feel the rage burning from his gaze but then he looked down and swallowed heavily. 

"Auguste?" this was, perhaps, the most childlike Damen had ever heard Laurent. "Auguste, he is in pain"

"I know, ma puce. I know, Let me help him" Auguste said, so softly that Damen felt his heart ripping apart. Auguste kneeled next to Mayfly and pulled out the injection. Laurent looked away then he said in the kindest voice Damen had perhaps ever heard.

"Sweet lovely creature" Laurent said quietly. "I am so sorry". Damen felt his own heart breaking even more, watching as Laurent ran his fingers through the horses mane. Laurent closed his eyes, pressing a kiss to the horses head. "This world was not made for one quite as beautiful as you, dear friend" and he gently closed the horses eyes as Auguste finished the injection. Auguste dropped his head and took a long breath.

"Shall we go home, Laur?"

"I don't want to leave him yet"

"I'll stay," Damen said softly to Auguste. He knew Auguste hated to stay when a horse died. He knew how his friend would shred himself of his clothes as if they burned and would just sit in silence, thinking of how to word the phone call to the family.

Except Mayfly had no family to ring.

Rescue cases rarely did have someone to love them. A race horse that couldn't run fast enough, a jumper who was too enthusiastic, a family pony that had kicked out one too many time. They all ended up here, in Augustes tiny little yard, counting their days. Auguste looked at Damen and stood up, Damen rested a hand on his shoulder, giving him a squeeze. "I'll take care of him" he whispered, and Auguste walked on.

~/~

In their silence, Damen observed Laurent. He watched as his fingers continually stroked the horses jawline. "They don't die instantly," he explained, his voice hoarse. "They slowly go to sleep. My uncle, he shot my pony when it fell and broke a leg. That was instant" Damen felt his stomach twist. "How old were you?"

"I cannot remember. It was during the year he became obsessed with me. So I was... Eleven? I cannot remember. It was a blur"

"I am sorry"

"Why? You didn't shoot Tiger. You didn't break his leg. Don't be so..."

"l am sorry you experienced that. I am sorry it traumatised you. I am sorry no one protected you"

"Don't speak as if-"

"I am sorry the world turned you cruel. I do not know what happened to you, Laurent. But l know it changed Auguste. You do not have to tell me either. But, I see glimpses of the person you were before you let your fear rule you. And your fear has made you cruel, and unkind, and snappy. But you cannot tell me deep down, you are not still true"

"You do not know me"

"No. But I saw you hold a horses head you had never met while he died so he did not have to die unloved. For l think out of all the things you fear, dying unloved is what scares you the most," Damen said quietly. He remembered what Auguste had said one night, when he had drank too much cheap wine. He remembered it clearly.

"He used to be lovely boy. A dreamer. Seeing the world through bright and clear eyes with all his innocence. Then it happened. Then he was in hospital not eating, wanting to die, not letting people touch him. And then the world was cruel, but he was crueller. And it was safer to hurt others and himself, than let someone in." Auguste whispered.

He used to be a lovely boy. But Damen thought he still was, that Laurent still was lovely. Lovely in the way people took pain and decorated it.

Laurent was still a child under it all. One who had never got the chance to enjoy it.

"It is ok, to be upset by this," Damen continued. "I like to imagine that the sleep they go too is the most beautiful sleep. And they are loved, wherever they go too"

"Then you are naive and ignorant," Laurent spat. "Nothing comes after you die, you are alive then you are dead"  


"But do you not think," Damen started. "It is better to believe there is something more to death than just nothing"

"Sometimes, when you want to die, all you want is nothing," he said, kissing Mayfly one last time then getting up and standing outside in the rain, Damen followed, standing next to him. Damen watched as Laurent closed his eyes, tilting his head upwards to the spitting sky. 

"I find England disgusting. It is grey, it rains, it is cold, the food is shit"

"I find the rain comforting. I like the noise, just listen" Damen said quietly, hearing the rain hitting the tin roof quietly. 

"Mayfly died," Laurent whispered. 

"He found peace"

"Do not decorate pain, Damen. Do not describe death romantically. There is nothing romantic about it. And there is nothing romantic about pain. Blood was simply red until the poets decided otherwise," Laurent said, scrubbing his face in the rain. "It is that kind of thinking that gets you hurt"

"Is that what happened to you?" Laurent whipped his head at break neck speed, raising his eyebrow at him and then looking away. "Yes. I covered pain with a lie"

"What was the lie?"

"That he loved me" and with that, Laurent walked away. 

And Damen did not follow. 


	6. Two Minutes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, its all you need.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Big warning here for suicide mentions, nothing is done it's only referenced. This is a heavy heavy chapter, I'm sorry. Please reach out to me, a friend or loved one or a charity if you are struggling.

> 'Your eyes can be so cruel  
> Just as I can be so cruel  
> Though I do believe in you' - David Bowie

Laurent gazed down at the valley, the early morning fog only staring to break with the sun. The horse under him was sweaty, the steam rising from his coat and little clouds of breath puffing out of his nostrils as he breathed heavily. His fine neck sleek with sweat but the horses eyes remained alert, his ears constantly flicking and listening. This horse was full of life. 

Marianne had given him one of her new hunters, a thick boned Irish Draught that stood 17.2hh, and his name was Snowdrop ('It's ironic' Marianne had said, pulling his rug off to show the coal black coat, Laurent simply raised an eyebrow). And so at 6am, Laurent had tacked up the new comer and rode him out into the cross country and hacked to the top of a hill. Laurent had forgotten how pleasant it felt, to be perched on top of something that could quite easily kill you and yet there was a mutual respect, an unsaid understanding of 'you don't hurt me, and I will not hurt you'.

On Snowdrop, Laurent was not the youngest D'Vere, the one who had had such an unfortunate childhood. Who could not remember his parents as well as his brother. Who had been abused, molested, neglected and destroyed mentally. 

On Snowdrop, he was simply a person on the horses back who sang quietly as they trotted and spoke in French as they jumped. Laurent was just another human to Snowdrop and he would rather just be another human on the back of a beast that could kill him than be Laurent D'Vere. 

Laurent sighed, giving the horse a long rein as they trotted back to the yard then pulling him to walk, giving him time too cool off before bouncing off and sighing, looking at Marianne who had another horse waiting for him. "Take him in the arena, this is Bucky"

"Another ironic name?"

"Yes. He bucks, a lot. Sit tight!" she smiled, giving Laurent the reins then leading Snowdrop. While his face showed nothing, inside he was smiling. 

~/~

 _That he loved me_. The words had haunted Damen as he went through his morning check ups. Who had done that to Laurent? Who had ruined him. Damen knew it was his uncle, but he didn't know it all. He wanted too, but he would not ask. No, he would let Laurent tell him. 

Perhaps, Damen thought. Perhaps Laurent was growing to like him. Perhaps Damen was breaking through the exterior of this cold-hearted ice-bitch. Damen felt they were getting closer, he had seen it last night. He had seen the vulnerability in the youngers eyes when he spoke of death and pain. 

He spoke as someone who had experienced a great deal of both. Not as a poet. 

And Damen really didn't like death and pain and that. He liked puppies, which he was currently holding as he gave the little retriever pup his injections. 

But his mind still fell back to those words. His mind was haunted by the image of Laurent, standing so still in the rain with his head tilted upwards towards the light as the rain drops ran along his skin and how he said them words. 

_That he loved me._

Damen sighed, kissing the puppy and putting him back in the cage and tilting his head. Maybe Laurent needed a puppy. 

~/~

When Laurent returned after riding six horses, he was sweaty and tired but it felt good. He felt good. That was until he saw the French newspaper in front of Auguste and his brother sitting cross armed. "Should you not be at work"

"I called in sick"

"You seem in perfect health"

"Don't... Don't _start_ your games, Laurent." Auguste said, Laurent had never heard his brother sound quite so pained and exhausted. 

"Why not?" he challenged and Auguste closed his eyes, rubbing his face then looking at his brother, holding eye contact as he said in French, 

"Because you sound exactly like him when you do." Laurent's heart stuttered. He swallowed and aimlessly flicked the corner of the paper. "You are reading the Sud Ouest?" Laurent asked, dropping back into French with him.

"When where you going to tell me uncle was out of prison?"

"I wasn't"

"When where you going to tell me he made contact?"

"I wasn't"

"Damn it, Laurent!" Auguste slammed his fist on the table but Laurent didn't flinch. "I held your hand. I _found_ you in the bathroom that night!"

"You should've found me with him instead" there was a pause.

A beat. The unsaid noise between them was deafening. 

"No one is as cruel as you, Laurent. No one is as Vicious. Why do you hate me so much?" and for once, Laurent did not have the words. Auguste looked at him and shook his head. "Nothing? Nothing to say? Darling brother. You are a stranger. Where is my little dove?"

"Dead in a bathroom."

"You wished you died?"

 _Yes_ , Laurent wanted to say. _**Yes**._

He remained silent. And that was answer enough. Auguste took a deep breath, "Maybe tonight l will stay with Mari."

"I'll leave"

"And stay where?"

"With Damen" Auguste made a noise, so pained. Laurent stood up, walking to the door then stopping. "Auguste?"

"What?"

"I love you" and Laurent left.

~/~

Damen must admit, he was surprised when he found Laurent on his door step. He was about to greet him when Laurent walked in and frowned. "Your flat is as I expected, frightfully dull" he muttered, poking one of the bobble head dogs that Damen kept on his fireplace. 

"Nice to see you too, Laurent" 

"The colour is horrid. It's bland. There is no life in here" he sneered, examining the photos and pointing to the photo of Jocasta and him. "A girlfriend?"

"Ex"

"Lucky her." 

"Is there any particular reason you have shown up at my flat, unannounced, and frankly uninvited?"

"I was bored," he said with a shrug, looking at the photos of his family. "You have your mothers nose."

"Thank you"

"It wasn't a compliment" Damen counted to ten in Greek, and then did it backwards and flexed his fist. 

"You are just in _charming_ form today, tell me what else would you like to destroy?" Laurent paused, taking a long look of consideration and then pointing at the painting on the wall. "I've shits that are more artistic than that"

"My nephew did it"

"Don't be sending him off to art school any time soon"

"I won't, he's four"

"Same age as you then." Damen took another deep breath, this time counting to twenty and backwards. "Would you like anything to eat or drink, Laurent?"

"I'm curious. I had heard that they were training apes for domestic duties, tell me was the reward worth it? When you learned how to make a sandwich and tea?"

"I am Greek. I can cook with my eyes closed and still do it better than you," Damen replied. For some reason, Damen could see Laurent getting more agitated that he wasn't getting a reaction. He went deeper, went harder when Damen didn't rise to his bait.

"I suppose food poisoning does wonders for the complexion. I heard the Greeks are feral, killing each other."

"Enough, Laurent"

"Killing each other left right and centre, over throwing this and over throwing that. I heard they live in hovels. They don't even flush their toilets"

"You're French, you're hardly one to take the higher ground," Damen snapped back and then he saw the glitter in Laurent's eyes and this seemed to fuel his rampage. "At least when the French decide to over throw a government, they get it done"

"Laurent..."

"Does it work the same in families? I heard the Greeks are inbred. I heard they share lovers between brothers. I heard they kill their own family-" Damen stood and walked out into the kitchen, getting two mugs off tea and some cakes onto a tray. He gripped the bench, hard. Damen regretted thinking Laurent needed a puppy, he'd probably tell it that it wasn't smart enough and drown it just to see if it'd die. 

Damen swallowed and walked back into the living room were Laurent was examining the bookshelf, tracing the spines and looking at Damen. "Apes can read now too?"

"I said enough, Laurent"

"Dr. Zeus, I imagine is brilliant, but I wonder who teaches your nephew if you too are a simpleton?" Damen set the tea down with a thud and walked over too Laurent, "Sit down and drink your tea and stop trying to..."

"What?" 

"Trying to get a reaction" Laurent held his gaze and then pushed him. Damen was mildly surprised at the strength of the shove but he kept his footing firm. He gave up counting and began listing reasons not to murder Laurent. 

1\. Auguste would be pissed and he would loose his business partner. 

2\. .... ~~Damen completed his list at one.~~

"Hit me," Laurent said, pushing Damen again and then it clicked in Damens head. Laurent wanted to be punished. He wanted to hurt. Damen shook his head, "I'm not going to hurt you, Laurent"

"Hit me. Do something. Hit me!" Laurent screamed. "You... useless oaf! You barbarian. You're a disgrace to your family name. You ape!" but Damen didn't move.

"Hate me, _please_." Laurent whispered, his anger finally giving way to something else. Damen rose, and stood next to Laurent and softly touched his wrist. "Why do you try to make life harder for yourself? There is no war. You are not in enemy lines"

"I want to... I-"

"You are not a villain. You are not vicious. You are scared" _why are you scared_? Damen wanted to ask, but he held his tongue. "You are safe."

"I'm not safe if he's free," Laurent choked. Damen took a slow breath and moved Laurent to the chair, kneeling in front of him.

"Your uncle?" Laurent nodded. "He cannot hurt you anymore, Laurent. He cannot hurt you"

"You don't _know_ that." 

"No. But I know that you are here, and as an ape I have extreme strength and as a barbarian I have no morals, therefore can destroy him quite quickly." And in a glimmer, Damen saw the faint resemblance of a smile or laugh in Laurent. 

"Why do you care for me?"

"I don't know. I see you're scared. I see you're lost. And I've seen puppies with the same sort of expression and I fix them."

"I'm not a fucking puppy," Damen had, quite possibly, never heard someone sound more disgusted at the thought of being compared to a puppy.

"No. You're a rattlesnake. Still, snakes can be sad too," Damen sat down on the floor so he was looking up at Laurent. "You are so scared, you do not have to be scared here. You are safe."

"Its... You say it _so_ easily. You say it as if it is so simple. It's not. It's not simple. Its not just flicking a switch. He is everywhere I go, in everything I do. I see him, hear him, feel him, smell him. He has consumed every sense I have. He has destroyed my life. He has ruined me"

"But Laurent, your life has only begun. Look at how much you have achieved. You speak as if you are walking a death sentence. But you aren't"

"How do you know?"

"Because Auguste would never let anyone hurt you"

"He failed before"

"Did he?"

A beat, a pause and then a quiet whisper. "No"

"You blame him for leaving. You blame yourself for needing comfort. You blame your parents for dying. You blame God for not caring. Yet you do not blame your uncle," Damen said quietly. "Why do you not blame him?" 

Damen had sat with families when they told them their dog had went away to a farm, and the child would ask with the only innocence a child could have, 'but why did he have to go?'. When Laurent answered, Damen was reminded of them children. 

"Because he said he loved me," it was so heart-breaking innocence that Damen did not think, he pulled Laurent into his arms and pressed him to his chest to protect him. 

"Love is not meant to kill you. See how Auguste loves you? That is love," Damen said quietly, his lips almost brushing Laurent's ear as he spoke. "I... I read into the case," Damen confessed. "I read the trail. I am sorry. I was invading your privacy."

"No. You were curious," Laurent replied. "You wanted to know. I am surprised Auguste did not tell you more. I will, some night. But not tonight"

"There is no rush," Damen soothed, threading his fingers through Laurent's hair to calm him. "There is no rush for you to tell me. But I am here"

"You care too much"

"I do. I am not ashamed of it. I care because I can see your hurt, and I can see your pain. I am a vet, and I want to help" 

"It was worse when he left," Laurent breathed. Damen did not force him to continue. "When he left me. I cried for days. I thought if I was good, he'd come back. If I was good, he'd love me just a little more. If I was just, just _good,_ then I wouldn't have to sleep alone anymore."

"That was cruel"

"Life is cruel"

"Life is beautiful," Damen countered. "Some day, I promise. Some day you will see how beautiful and rich life can be. You are not weak because this happened to you, Laurent. You are strong, and you are true." Laurent pulled back to look at him, and then pressed his lips against Damens. 

> "I can hear the children calling, 
> 
> If I'm good will you come back,
> 
> If I'm good will you come back,
> 
> Oh if I'm good, if I'm good, 
> 
> If I'm good, 
> 
> Will you come back?" - The Amazing Devil

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, I'm sorry.... ish.  
> Leave comments, let me know your thoughts and please if you are struggling reach out to someone <3  
> \- Midnight_Wonder xx


	7. Man of the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heaviest weight one can carry is the weight of the truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *In Adele voice* This is the enddddddd... :)

> 'I want love on my own terms  
> After everything I've ever learned  
> Me, I carry too much baggage  
> Oh man I've seen so much traffic' - Elton John

Laurent awoke to the smell of pancakes and cinnamon, a record playing faintly in the background. He squeezed his eyes tight and rubbed his head, looking down at the blankets and pillows. Not that much sleeping had been done, nothing sexual but they had sat and talked.

They had talked for hours. 

Laurent's throat ached from it, they had whispered as lovers do, sweet pillow talk. They remained in each others arms the whole night, heads pressed against each others and lips hesitantly kissing. 

Laurent had never felt so at peace. And his dreams, his dreams had been of a small house with a little stable yard and Laurent lived there with Damen. And they were  _ happy _ .

Sleep made him say strange things, and Laurent remembered saying to Damen half asleep. "I think we were lovers in a past life"

"Oh?"

"Mmm. We were kings, we ruled two kingdoms together. Do you believe in soul mates?" 

"I've never thought into it much" Damen had said softly, "Do you?"

"To an extent. I believe that two people can just meet and know that they are meant to be." Laurent didn't know why he had told Damen this. He hadn't told anyone about his dreams, about having a soul mate who understood him. For all the things in the world, Laurent just wanted to be love. 

He wanted love on his own terms. He wanted love that he consented too. He did not want to feel cold anymore, he did not want to feel empty. Laurent for years had convinced himself he could not love. He did not deserve love. 

Damen made him think perhaps he did. 

"Stop my mouth," Laurent had said with a half laugh. "Stop my mouth, I do not know what I am saying"

"I think you make sense, and I think it's beautiful"

Perhaps, Damen was his soul mate. That he felt he knew Damen from a past life, that he was familiar to his memory and to his touch and to be with him felt like coming home. 

Laurent sighed again, scrubbing his face and walking into the kitchen and raising an eyebrow. "You said you can cook, but you failed to mention the _mess_ you make after you cook," Laurent observed, taking one of Damen's pancakes and beginning to butter it. Damen was stood with some pancake batter on his shirt, pots and pans had been abounded and batter was spilled, eggshells sat by the sink next to a tea bag, spoons that were coffee stained and spilt milk.

This was messier than Laurent's entire life. 

"I did. I said I can cook, not clean," Damen grinned, bending his head down to meet Laurent's lips, "May I?" he asked and Laurent nodded, letting Damen press the warm kiss to his lips. He pulled back and put another batch of pancakes on the pan. "I was going to bring you a plate to the sofa"

"How very thoughtful of you," Laurent said, sitting back on the kitchen chair and closing his eyes. He simply listened to Damen mulling around the kitchen with the sound of some band softly playing and there was a faint breeze tickling his skin. Occasionally, when he moved, Damen would brush a hand across Laurent's shoulder or hand, a brief kiss to his head and squeeze to his shoulder. 

Laurent decided he could get use to this. He was letting his mind wander when he heard a guttural meow, and the sound of glass smashing. 

"You bastard," Damen hissed. Laurent opened his eyes and saw a fat ball of fluff standing on the windowsill with mismatched eyes and patchy fur. 

"Luna," Laurent breathed, looking at the cat then Damen. "You kept Luna?"

"Well, I didn't _keep_ her. Auguste is not a cat person and Luna kept bringing him dead mice so he asked me to take her. He tried to keep her for you, but then you set your life up in France and Marianne is allergic so..." but Laurent had stopped listening. He scooped up his cat and stroked her head and smiled when she purred. Laurent could remember being gifted the kitten when he was on bed rest in Auguste's flat after taking a reaction to a bee sting. 

"She's so fat"

"She doesn't stay here often. She just comes back to break my glasses and remind me she exists then goes away" he laughed, sitting down opposite Laurent and setting the stack of pancakes between them. Laurent pressed a kiss to Luna's head and hugged her tightly. The cat let out a yowl then broke free, hissing at Damen and hopping out of the window. Laurent couldn't help but smile. He looked at Damen who was intensely buttering his pancakes and then passing one to Laurent. "They're fresh"

"I can tell. The mess you've left certainly leaves little to the imagination on how these pancakes came to be" and Damen laughed at that, and Laurent smiled a little more. 

Damen shook his head, "You are so unlike Auguste," he said, looking at Laurent. "You are so blunt"

"You find it funny though"

"I do. Because I understand it," he said then shifting. "Auguste texted me"

"Good for him"

"He's worried about you, Laurent. You have to acknowledge that," Damen said gently. Damen reached over, opening his hand as an invitation for Laurent to did. "Don't shut me off, Laurent. You're not going to like this conversation, but more often than not the most painful conversations we have are the ones that are needed most." Laurent swallowed, looking away and taking a deep breath. 

"Tell me what you are scared off, Laurent" Damen whispered. 

I am scared he will hate me, be disgusted with me. I am scared he will blame me, but instead, Laurent said nothing. Damen moved so he was kneeling next to Laurent and softly touching his chin. "Talk to me, Laurent. Don't lock yourself in your head. There is not a more dangerous place to be," he said softly. 

Laurent's skin felt too tight, and the world felt too loud. The room was tiny, the smells was suffocating. Laurent wretched a little and Damen quickly moved him to the sink, rubbing him between his shoulder blades and holding his hair back. 

"Deep breaths, Mon beau," he said calmly. Laurent nodded. He swallowed and let out a long breath. "Thats it, deep breaths," Damen soothed in French. His hand still rubbing his back and his other hand now threading his fingers through Laurents hair. The repetitiveness of the movements grounded him, and soon his breathing was back under control. 

"I am scared of the truth," Laurent whispered. 

"Truth is a very scary thing. It is why it is easier to lie," Damen responded, pressing a kiss to Laurent's temple. 

"You speak from experience," Laurent observed. Damen nodded gently. "My fiance cheated on me with my brother, and tried to kill me"

"Your ex or your brother?"

"Both" 

"But your nephew..."

"I love him dearly. My brother is dead now, he died in a car crash. Jocasta still keeps in touch but often stays by herself. I see my nephew once a month." Laurent nodded slowly, brushing his knuckles against Damens. "I'm sorry"

  
"Don't be, it was a truth I could not admit. I know it is not the same pain as yours but I understand how difficult truth it" he whispered. Laurent nodded slowly, looking at Damen. "You won't abandon me now will you?" 

"No"

"I always thought I would have to face this truth alone"

"You do not. But I think perhaps, your brother deserves to hear it. And I think perhaps it will help you both. I understand, you may never tell me what happened, Laurent and I will never force you. However, he is still your brother. And it might help him to know, to understand." he said making Laurent nod. Laurent stood, rubbing his face again and then looking at Damen. "I'll... I'll text you? Once I've finished"

"Of course" 

"And you'll be here?"

"Always" Laurent nodded, this time kissing Damen first and then leaving. 

~/~

"And so... I blamed you," Laurent breathed. He hadn't dared look at his brother as he spoke. His eyes focused on the cup he was holding of cold coffee. "I blamed you for leaving me with him, our parents had just died. I was alone."

"Laurent-"

"I know you thought I would be safe with him. I know that now. But I didn't then. And I _hated_ you. Because he made me. He told me these lies, Auguste. That you did not love me, and nobody would ever love me. That I was worthless. And it's a good thing my parents were dead because I would've disgraced them." Laurent heard the noise that escaped Auguste, but he continued. "And I was so young I believed him. But he told me it was ok, because he loved me. And he didn't hate me, and he would protect me. And I believed him"

"You were just a boy"

"I know," Laurent whispered. "But the world did not care that I was just a boy. It never cares. It just hurts. And then he left me. He replaced me with other boys, brought them to the house and made a show of taking them instead of me. And I didn't understand"

"You should've reached out to me"

"How? On the phone lines that he cut? On the letters that he would read? No. I couldn't. And then I couldn't take it anymore"

"And that's when I found you," Auguste finished. Laurent nodded, taking a deep breath. "I had came home early to surprise you," Auguste continued, rubbing his face. "I wanted to surprise you, but then you weren't in your room or in the study, and I simply walked past the bathroom..."

"And you found me," Laurent answered.

"And I found you," Auguste repeated. "Why are you telling me this now?"

"Damen said you deserve the truth"

"You spent the night with him"

"I said I was going too" and Auguste chuckled, shaking his head. "I said he wasn't to flirt with you"

"He did more than flirt," Laurent murmured, finally looking up at his brother. "I like him a lot"

"I am glad. He is a good man, and honest. But you are going back to France soon, no?" Laurent shrugged. "Perhaps. But perhaps there are more things worth staying for here than just a good reputation and a name" 

"That is not an easy choice to make, Laurent"

"No. But I think I would like to choose happiness this time. I don't want to be sad anymore."

"And does Damen do that? Make you happy?"

"...Yes."

"Then I will support you. And I am," Auguste took a deep breath. "I am endlessly proud of you, Laurent. You are my little brother. And I am constantly amazed at your strength, please do not doubt me"

"I don't. I don't doubt your love, I just find it hard to accept it," he explained. Auguste nodded and shifted slightly. "We can work on this, together? Let me be here for you?" 

"I will. Soon, I will."

"What are you going to do?"

"I think I am going to hand in my resignation at the company. And move here" 

"Do you want me to go to France with you?"

"I would like Damen too. He is a barbaric ape and therefore has no morals," Laurent smiled and Auguste snorted, shaking his head. 

"I feel that you will be both make my life a lot harder now"

"Never. We will be the picture of perfect domestic bliss"

"I doubt that a lot," and Laurent simply grinned at him. 

~/~

_ A few months later... _

Damen now could understand why Laurent seemed to hate England so much. Having spent two months in France with him, he could see why England was considered...dull. 

As they stepped off the plane, the cold rain hit Damen first and he simply sighed. Yes, this was home. 

This was not warm Rouen, the grand architecture and stunning sunsets. This was not Paris, sitting on a balcony over looking the city at night. 

This was not luxury that Laurent lived in France.

This was shitty, grey England and yet Damen loved it. 

Damen stopped, stretching his hand out to reach for Laurent who took it, striding off the plane and down the steps. Damen was endlessly impressed with Laurent's fashion, watching as Laurent wore a singed waist denim jumpsuit, a fur coat, pearls, and platform boots and 50s sunglasses. 

That's his boyfriend, Damen thought proudly. That's his boyfriend striding across the runway of the airport as if he owned the place.

"Damen come on" he called over his shoulder, demanding as ever. 

They had talked a lot during their time in France. Laurent had told him all, of all the pain and hate he had endured and how there were things he could not do because it reminded him too much of his uncle. Of how he had convinced himself to be alone was better than to be vulnerable. 

However, now when Laurent put his walls up, he built them with Damen inside, standing next to him. 

In France, Laurent had handed his resignation in and packed up. He brought Damen to some sights, letting him see little places that meant something to him. He brought Damen to the first studio he performed in, to the first theatre he was the lead in, to the places where he danced and danced for hours. He showed him where Auguste use to compete on horses, and of course they went to Disneyland. 

~~ Damen would have the picture of Laurent hugging Rapunzel tightly framed in his office for the rest of his life.  ~~

Things had not been easy to begin with. When Laurent would push him away, he stood firm and wouldn't leave as much as Laurent would scream at him to do so. Damen stood firm, and didn't move. And soon, Laurent let him in and shared his pain instead of trying to keep save himself. 

"Will you still love me tomorrow?" Laurent had asked one night into the darkness. Damen stirred from his sleep, rolling over and seeing Laurent staring at the roof, wide eyed and fully awake. 

"I will"

"You won't get tired of me?"

"Never"

"Will you still love me tomorrow?"

"I will"

Together. They did this together. 

And Damen couldn't think of a time he was happier than when he walked through the airport with Laurent looking like a super model, hand in hand and going back to his flat, to start their life together. 

> 'Tonight you're mine, completely  
> You give your love so sweetly  
> Tonight the light of love is in your eyes  
> But will you love me tomorrow' - The Shirelles. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the end now folks!! However not to fear, I am working on the sequel which I will probably post tonight and we will get reacquainted with a certain someone... subscribe to find out who!!


	8. Songs List

This fanfic relied heavily on music, so please find attached all the songs I listened too whilst writing each chapter! I very much reccomend you listen to these songs as they really help give the vibes I was going for! 

Chapter Inspirations: 

> 1\. [Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow, Carole King](https://youtu.be/GLA7sanwnN8)
> 
> 2\. [Go Your Own Way, Fleetwood Mac](https://youtu.be/6ul-cZyuYq4)
> 
> 3\. [Devil In Disguise, Elvis Presley ](https://youtu.be/emjLXdsj6xA)
> 
> 4\. [Linger, The Cranberries](https://youtu.be/G6Kspj3OO0s)
> 
> 5\. [He Used To Be A Lovely Boy, Keane ](https://youtu.be/CNhCa3BzGaA)
> 
> 6\. [Within You, David Bowie](https://youtu.be/MAWR12ocC1E)
> 
> 7\. [Two Minutes, The Amazing Devil](https://youtu.be/a3YhMe19-_c)
> 
> 8\. [I Want Love, Elton John](https://youtu.be/ufbexgPyeJQ)
> 
> 9\. [Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow, The Shirelles](https://youtu.be/3irmBv8h4Tw)


End file.
